You are seeing a healthcare provider because you feel unwell or someone else thinks you are. So here's the bottom line:
- Does your healthcare provider create conditions of wellbeing?
- Do they offer you the basic courtesies of human relationship?
- Do you feel better instead of worse when you are in their presence?
- Do you feel better instead of worse when you leave?
- Do they 'get' you as a person?
- Do they 'get' what your life is like every day and what you have to do to survive it?
- Do they honor your time and energy by making sure the stuff they recommend really fits you and your vision for your life?
- Are you feeling better rather than worse over time as a result of their presence in your life?
These are the questions I ask myself when I try to determine whether a relationship is good for me or not. This applies to any human relationship I have, not just a healthcare one.
If these basic needs aren't met for me when I'm with someone, I'm going to feel worse rather than better. It's just that simple. This is my bottom line.
Maybe the things you need are different from me. Maybe you have your own set of questions and concerns. But the point remains the same.
- We all see healthcare providers to feel better rather than worse.
- Healthcare providers hold themselves out as skilled in increasing wellbeing rather than destroying it.
- They may have an area of special skill that is quite useful and that is good and well.
- However: Just because a provider is skilled at well being in one area doesn't give them the right to destroy our need for well being in other areas. That is like a landscaper doing an amazing job on your lawn & then driving the backhoe through your kitchen.
- That isn't competent.
- That isn't healthcare.